Monday, 16 December 2013

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday baby boys, if ye were alive ye would be two years old and our house would be manic. How I wish things could be different, how I long to hold both of you in my arms and shower you with kisses. I love you so much and you own my heart forever.

We celebrated your second birthday in a similar way as last year. We put our Christmas tree and put your decorations up first. Then we went to were we planted your trees. This year as we had Eric with us we couldn't climb the mountain but instead we went on a walk around the area. We stopped for hot ports and soaked up the Christmas atmosphere. We then went for a meal and had birthday cake. When we arrived home we switched on the Christmas lights. It was a perfect day to celebrate your little life times.

I always find the two weeks between Arthur's birth and death difficult. Lots of memories come flooding back. Last night I had some night terrors were I dreamt of dead babies. its been a long time since I had dreams like this. I was a little shaken when I awoke. Then I fear something will happen to Eric, but I guess that fear is always going to be there for any mother but is just a bit more pronounced as I now know how precious life is.

I participated in a workshop last night and made a beautiful Christmas table display for Luke and Arthur. The workshop is run by a local charity for baby loss. It the was lovely to make something for the twins and now they will be included and will be there in our minds on Christmas day.

I made up a Christmas package for the nurses in neonatal, that cared for Arthur. They have been wonderful and sent a lovely card and photo frame for Eric when he was born. I will always remember their kindness. I also sponsored a memory box to be donated to the hospital for another baby's parents.

I have met some wonderful people in the past two years, people that I would have never met if my twins were not born. I am grateful every day that even though they could not stay with me that they were and are a part of our lives. I love them to the moon and back..xx

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