Friday, 11 May 2012

2 week wait

I'm now officially six days post transfer.. so another eight to go.... It's been up and down. I traveled back from Kiev on Sunday via Paris. It was probably the worst trip I have ever been on... I became really sick on the flight home and developed a really bad headache.. All I wanted to do was lie down a curl up in a bed.. I filled three bags on the air plane and still had to face an hour bus ride, a four hour train trip and half hour drive.. That is what you get for living in rural Ireland.. By the time I reached home I was wrecked and still quiet sick.. I went straight to bed forgetting to take my medication.. I was still sick the following day with a little anxiety added in as I hoped this wouldn't affect the transfer and  a missed  dose of progesterone is perfect to get the nerves going.. I have never been this sick after a transfer so I am wondering if I got a little food poisoning or something to that effect, who knows but I'm still not right...

I have been taking it easy over the last few days with the odd few searches on Goggle. I remember when I started on this journey I Goggled everything..but now I do the odd one for reassurance. I have had some cramping yesterday and a bit today, which is a side effect of the progesterone but could also be implantation. I keep trying to compare was it like this last time..but if I remember my pregnancy with the twins I didn't really feel anything. I'm trying as much as possible to think of other things.

I went into town this morning, it's my first time walking around the town center in months. I had been in a few weeks ago but only in my car.. I was so grateful it was raining so I could hide behind my umbrella.. I even called my boss  to meet for a coffee and have a chat about me returning to work in June, he was away so we plan to meet later in the month. That was a huge step  for me as I have bee procrastinating about getting back into the real world.  I know it sounds crazy as I have been out and about and I have been to Kiev on my own and I spent a month in India but I still find it hard been close to home and the thoughts of meeting people, so I have been practicing a lot of avoidance.. I know this is not healthy, I just can't stop myself.. It's the easy way out..

I'm dreading the thoughts of returning to work and having to deal with colleagues.. It's been on my mind lately, I still have seven weeks to go but I know that time will fly.. I would love to be pregnant returning as it would make it more bearable... The debate going on inside my head is whether I want people to talk to me about loosing the twins, to be honest right now for me I don't think I do..but we will cross that bridge when it comes for now I just need to think about getting through these two weeks and staying sane!!

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