Thursday, 28 June 2012

Baby Arthur

It is six months today, that I said goodbye to my second born Arthur Townsend. I promised that I would have his story written for his six month mark but I have been unable to find the strength to do so.

 I loved that little man who stayed with us for two weeks and one day. It breaks my heart to think about him as we really got to know him. Today six months ago was the worst day of my life, we had lost one son and were barely surviving, we were kept going because we had a miracle baby, our second son. Then he died and our world came crashing down around us. Arthur's death was so sudden, like his birth. The day before he was doing well, he had a great night and within a few hours he was dead. Arthur died in my arms, he was not alone, his daddy didn't make the hospital on time. Nothing about his death seemed real and even thinking about it now at this moment, is heart breaking for me. My son died in my arms..

Arthur was perfect, he was a fighter, he beat the odds for two weeks, but he couldn't fight an infection which finally took him. I am still angry at everything, everyone and at the world for taking him. I am grateful that I had two weeks with him and that I held him, that I read him stories, I spoke to him, I changed him, I cleaned his face (he was the image of his daddy), I loved him...

Where am I today.. I am sad so very very  sad...

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