Thursday 18 October 2012

Due date

Day 17: Due date,  This photo is of my first hospital record I was 8 weeks pregnant and my due date was written down for the first time the 29.3.12. I was looking over this form tonight and as you can see it has a heading that says pregnancy problems to date and they wrote No Problems. How I wish it continued like that and I remained innocent about baby loss.

What did I do on my due date? I donated two memory boxes in the boys name to the hospital. I got a piece of memorial jewelery to hold the babies ashes. I got a present from my partner, which was a picture book of the babies, which I can honestly say was the nicest gift anyone has ever gotten for me.

On the babies due date I also had a follow up appointment with Arthur's consultant from the neonatal department. The meeting was hard, but the consultant took his time with us and we talked about Arthur for nearly two hours. As the day was busy, it went by quickly. It wasn't till the following day that I felt the sadness take over..it just caught up with me..It was like we filled the due day with symbolic gestures, which helped to distract..but then it just became black again.. I retreated to my bed..I was tired..



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