Day 9: Special place. I have a special place where I go, it is the beach which is a few minutes walk from my house. It doesn't so much remind me of the boys but its where I think about them. I visit here most days to walk our dog. Our beach is 12km long and in the past few months I have got my partner to drop me off at one end where he fishes and I walk back. Its a great way to clear the cobwebs and to think and scream if I want as there are few if no people around.
I love this space, I collect white feathers and white shells, I write their names in the sand, I talk to them. In the middle of the beach behind the sand dunes there is a lake where the boys daddy has a boat where he fishes with their grandfather. There are a lot of swans living on the lake and it is truly a beautiful place. My partners uncle had his ashes spread there during the summer he passed away a few days after the twins. I always thought I spread our boys ashes at the beach but I am now leaning towards the lake as their grand uncle is there, in a way that gives me some comfort and also their daddy spends almost every day there during the summer. So it is indeed a very special place!