Day 12: Scents Todays entry was an easy one for me, there is one scent that takes me right back to neonatal and that is antibacterial hand wash. Every time we visited Arthur in the NICU we would wash our hands again and again. It was like preforming a ritual each day of his life. I remember being scared all the time that I would give Arthur something. I was on a lot of antibiotics, I was run down and my lips broke out in sores. I used to scrub my hands, if I touched something I would wash again. What is so sad is that it is an infection that was the cause of his death in the end.
Luke was with us in the hospital room for the first couple of days of Arthur's life. After we cremated Luke and I was discharged from hospital I went to stay with my SIL as she lives close to the hospital. I was pumping milk at the time, and I set up a table in the bedroom for the pump and the steamer. My SIL gave me this bottle of anti bacterial hand wash, I used it everyday, I washed before and after I pumped.
After Arthur died, I bought the same bottle of hand wash and when I smell it, I am instantly back to Arthur's little lifetime. I love smelling it but I do not use it everyday. I keep it for my special time with Arthur, when I can absorb all of him xx